We are coming up on the fourth anniversary of my Dad’s death. Although I am certainly not an expert, I want to share what I’ve read and my personal experience with grief. As I have read different articles, I have been amazed at how much of them sound familiar. My biggest takeaway is everyone’s grief journey is unique. Each loss suffered is different.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced the 5 stages of the grieving process:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I recognize and can relate with each stage of the grieving process. I may not have experienced them in this exact order but have processed each one multiple times. According to the dictionary, grief means deep sorrow. We know that grieving is not a quick process. Learning to practice patience towards others and especially ourselves is a must. According to the dictionary, patience means the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. I have been told that grief is like the ocean because it comes in waves. Some waves are bigger than others, therefore require more patience.

Just as a wave is sometimes larger than we expect, often waves of grief hit from seeming nowhere. Your eye catches a photo that takes you down memory lane, the happy tears start to swell. You hear a song that reminds you of the journey, you angrily start to question God. As you cook their favorite meal, the smell overwhelms your soul, and you realize they are in a better place.

When in denial and anger, we cannot always see and understand what is in front of us. I think about the walk to Emmaus after Jesus’s crucifixion. There were two travelers, one named Cleopas. Neither of them recognized Jesus until He broke bread with them in Luke 24: 30-32 NIV — When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.

Notice they recognized Jesus at the “breaking” of the bread. Jesus meets us at our brokenness. We may not always understand the why, but we can ask God to help us accept it. Whatever grief you are experiencing; loss of a loved one or a pet, a nasty divorce or a wayward child, I pray you will allow God to be your ultimate guide through the grieving process.

Let’s pray. Dear God, help me to recognize the different stages of grief. Help me to turn to You as my tour guide. Through Your love and grace, may I receive and give patience. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.