I must admit, I am not always so flexible. In fact, this week I found it hard to write about being flexible because I was stepping on my own toes. Sometimes instead of being open to being flexible, I am grumpy and resistant. Recently I have had a life lesson on being flexible. 

As I have shared before, my devotion time in the mornings is sacred time. I love getting up early, before everyone else, to pray, study and share with God. Over the last couple months my daily routine seemed to be lacking the same passion, focus, and zeal as usual. I couldn’t really say why, but my morning time was lacking something and left me feeling like I was not as close to God as I wanted. However, in the last 2 weeks my routine has been turned upside down.  Over Christmas a new puppy was an addition to our family. So in the mornings when I would come out of my room to get my coffee and have my devotion time, the puppy would hear me, whine and then be in the room with me and Abby (our Yorkie). Needless to say, I spent my usual quiet time being a referee and never could settle down to study and pray. Not having my quiet time made me grumpy! After a few days of this chaos, Clark suggested I just give up and sleep later instead of getting up so early since I wasn’t getting to have my time. But I wasn’t ready to give up completely. Instead, I prayed for God to lead me in ways I could be flexible. What could I do to ensure quiet, alone time? God told me I needed to think outside of the box. So the picture from today’s blog is my current devotion spot.  I now tiptoe to the kitchen to get my coffee and then retreat to my closet. While this spot is not beautiful nor is the seating ideal, it is now a sacred spot for me. This is where God and I meet each morning. 

In his book Win the Day, Mark Batterson says, “The key to sustained growth in any area of our lives is routine, but once the routine becomes routine, you have to reinvent the routine.” I had to be flexible and open to change and because I was, my morning routine has been rejuvenated! 

This week, as I have prayed and read scripture about the word flexible, I often came upon Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  And here I am back at my word of the year, transform.  So as I learn and grow in regards to my word “transform”, I must be flexible. 

How about you? Do you have a routine that has become too routine? Do you have a routine that needs to be transformed? Are you being open and flexible? Is your flexibility allowing God to reinvent your routines?

#recognizethegriefprocess

Today I am writing about grief. I am certainly not an expert, rather coming from personal experience. This past week as I prepared to write I asked one of my Psychologist friends for some reliable sources. I have not personally been through grief counseling, but I am a firm believer in the importance of it. As I read the different articles, I was surprised how much of it sounded familiar. My biggest takeaway is that everyone’s grief journey is unique to them. Each loss suffered whether by illness, suicide, an accident, or murder, our grief we experience is going to be different.

I recognized and could relate with each stage of the grieving process. I may not have experienced them in this exact order but have processed each one multiple times. If we look at the definition of grief, “deep sorrow” we know that grieving is not a quick process. Learning to practice patience towards others and especially ourselves is a must. Patience means the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. I have been told that grief is like the ocean because it comes in waves. Some waves are bigger than others, therefore require more patience.

I see a traveler who makes a journey from place to place, each day experiencing new sights, sounds, and smells. In comparison when grieving we are like passengers with grief as our tour guide. Your eye catches a photo that takes you down memory lane, the happy tears start to swell. You hear a song that reminds you of the journey, you angrily start to question God. As you cook their favorite meal, the smell overwhelms your soul, and you realize they are in a better place.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced the 5 stages of the grieving process:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

When in denial and anger, we cannot always see and understand what is in front of us. I think about the walk to Emmaus after Jesus’s crucifixion. There were two travelers, one named Cleopas. Neither of them recognized Jesus until He broke bread with them in Luke 24: 30-32 NIV; “When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight”.

Notice they recognized Jesus at the “breaking” of the bread. Jesus meets us at our brokenness. We may not always understand the why, but we can ask God to help us accept it. One of my favorite prayers, known as the Serenity Prayer, comes to mind.

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

In the name of Jesus, Amen

Just hours before finishing writing my mom sent a text. She had been going through some of my Dad’s belongings and came across a letter he had typed on 12/22/18, just two days before he heard the words, you have cancer. I was reminded of his trust in God and the peace he had received from God that week before he would begin his cancer journey. Looking back now I can see how God equipped my Dad to be our original tour guide. Although he fought hard and never gave up on his battle with cancer for 13 long months, he was at peace with whatever the outcome would be. We as his loved ones needed those 13 short months to prepare our hearts and minds. While reading the letter the song “Don’t Miss a Thing” by Amanda cook was playing. Some of the lyrics sing; “You surround me with angels on assignment”. God Wink! I can smile because we now have Dad as our angel on assignment.

I do not normally eat my emotions. This past week was the one-year anniversary of my Dad’s death. He loved ice cream. For me, eating ice cream was one way I could remember and honor my Dad. I encourage you to read the articles below. I feel I am a mixture of both affectively and cognitively processing grief. Affectively I have communicated my grief both verbally and in writing. Cognitively I have processed grief physically through my running journey.

Whatever grief you are experiencing; loss of a loved one or a pet, a nasty divorce or a prodigal child. I pray you will allow God to be your ultimate tour guide through the grieving process. Whereever you are at in your grieving process I pray you can give yourself patience. I encourage you to take time to journal and express your emotions with family and friends. Find fun ways to honor your loved ones, even if it means eating a bowl of ice cream. The John Heywood saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a year” but you can make a point to find joy in the journey one brick at a time. Most importantly, pray. Talk to God daily. He knows our every need. Remember the shortest verse in the bible, John 11:35 NIV; “Jesus Wept”. He loves us and doesn’t want to miss a thing.

Worship Song:

Don’t Miss a Thing by Amanda Cook

Articles on Grieving Process:

https://www.apa.org/topics/grief

Grief: Going beyond death and stages

Resources for Grieving People:

https://www.hospiceandcommunitycare.org/grief-and-loss/grief-links/

#mywordfor2021

What is my word for 2021? I have been preparing for this word since December 6^th when God gave me my first God wink. I have had several confirmations, but I kept doubting God and His plan. The more I would doubt my word, the more God wink’s I would receive.

My word this year is Refine which can mean the following:

Remove impurities or unwanted elements from.

Improve by making small changes.

To become more fine, elegant, or polished.

My first God wink came from 1 Peter 1:7; “These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed”. This verse by itself may not make sense but if you read the surrounding verses 6 & 8 you will understand why. In 2020 I faced trials, yet in the midst of those trials, God was refining me so that I could be filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.

My second God wink came from my Girlfriends in God devotion by Gwen Smith. She says, “what if God wants to use the strains, stains, and disappointments we face to refine us – restore us – strengthen us – and to draw us to His side of desperation”. This is when I got scared because I do not want to experience anymore strains, stains, and disappointments. I remember asking God, what about the word “peace”, doesn’t that sound much better for me? I had just finished an Elevation Worship podcast called “The Path of Peace”. Steven Furtick said, “It’s not the path to peace, it is the path of peace”, meaning I am not waiting for God’s peace, rather I am walking in it. I was desperately feeling the need to walk into 2021 with God’s peace.

Then my third God wink came from Mark Batterson’s book, “Win the Day”. He encourages us to focus on our inputs rather than our outcomes. For the last three years I have been so focused on achieving my degree (an outcome), maybe it was time to take a look at my inputs, remove any impurities, or unwanted elements as defined by the word refine. I was feeling the need to detox. Not only had I gained 10lbs this last semester, I was also feeling I had gained baggage that I haven’t had time to process and fully unpack.

It was not until my fourth God wink which came from Jamie Thompkin’s book, “There’s No Place Like Home” that I was finally starting to say yes to my word. I had been struggling with giving myself grace and at times giving grace to others. This past year has been hard balancing school, work, family, church, and social. Lately I have found myself asking God every morning for His new mercies and for my co-workers, family, and friends to give me grace for what I have or have not done or where I have messed up or succeeded. Jamie says, “Being graceful not only means poised in the physical sense of the word. It also means being polished by the refiner’s fire. At this point I am asking God, what about the word “grace”, doesn’t that sound much better for me? Then I remembered that grace is already freely given to me. I did not feel a strong need to focus on this throughout the year.

I also like to carry a mantra throughout the year. In Jamie’s book I loved the idea of how she talked about; “Be a fruit bearer”. The scripture referenced comes from Gal 5: 22-24; “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”. I remember feeling a big sigh of relief, finally the fluff words I had been searching for. Each of these words by themselves do not sound scary like the word refine. On the flip side, if we think about how as Christians, we should embody all 9 of the fruits, they become more than fluff. They start stepping on toes.

It is settled, I want to be a fruit bearer. I want to take the time to inwardly look at myself so that I embody all 9 fruits throughout the year. I want to be polished by the refiner’s fire.

What word and or mantra are you going to let lead you through 2021? What scripture are you going to cling to and continually meditate on? What ways will you share your word with others?

Transform: (verb) make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of

This year makes the 5th year Julie and I have chosen a word of the year.  For us it all began after we had been choosing a word of the day for a while and thought  a word of the year would encourage us to be even more intentional over a longer period of time.  This week I shared my previous words of the year; joy, hospitality, intention, and impact.  I found it even more difficult to settle on my word this year and I accumulated a list of possible words over the last few weeks. In fact, a few weeks ago I shared on a live video that I thought I knew what my word would be for 2021 and actually that was only the first of five words I wrote down before arriving at the word transform.Perhaps I just perceived it as difficult, but actually it was the process God needed me to go through to be prepared for the word transform. The list of words actually became my God wink for the scripture God led me to for affirmation of the word transform: listen, pilgrimage, unselfish, generous, willingness.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.”             Romans 12:2 NIV

Please take a moment to read the entire chapter of Romans 12 to see the surrounding verses that confirmed my word for me.  Those verses embody listen, pilgrimage, unselfish, generous, and willingness.  In other words, all of those words support being transformed. 

God has laid upon my heart that with His guidance I must transform myself, my family, my home, and my work.  God will lead me in transforming myself physically, spiritually and in relationships.  I am excited and nervous to see where God leads me, one day at a time. 

How about you? Have you chosen a word to shape and guide 2021? If not, it isn’t too late. You can choose a word at any point. Just this week a dear friend lent me the book One Word (that will change your life) by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page.  The book is a quick read and is a guide to choosing a word of the year. I have recently began listening to Jon Gordon’s podcast “Positive University” which has been of great encouragement to me and heard him talk about his process for choosing a word of the year. 

If you have already chosen a word for 2021 and would like to share it for accountability, please reach out to Julie or me in the next week.  I currently have a list of those of you who shared with us for 2020 and will be in touch with you to see if you have a new word on your heart. 

Today is the first day in the year 2021. We have a blank slate to write on! As you probably know, I love Disney World. One of the older attractions is The Carousel of Progress at the Magic Kingdom. The theme song from the ride is one of my favorites:“There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow”. Click the link below and take a moment to listen to the words of the song. Let’s allow God to lead and guide us into our new year. I plan to be transformed! What word will be your guide?

https://youtu.be/20FcZDAIAO8